In early 2007, I’m not sure where my life was exactly, but my fevered mind produced The Wheel of Chaos. Oh, I remember, I was working an IT job in Monterey with people I hated and each morning I’d come to work and pull into the parking lot and picture the place on fire with people leaping out through the windows (on fire, preferable). I felt trapped and miserable and like I wanted rescue. Thus was born the Wheel of Chaos.
The idea was this: There is a physical wheel, ala Wheel of Fortune, upon whose spokes are fastened removable cards that detail your fate. Before you spin, you have the option of removing one decree and replacing it with your own.
If you are unable to abide by all of the decrees that you may receive, you really have no business spinning. This is a Wheel of Chaos for desperate people who are committed to introducing serious change, nay chaos, into their lives.
In spinning, you automatically enter into a pact with your fellow co-spinners to ensure that the dictates of the Wheel of Chaos are carried out.
The rules are simple and spelled out precisely on the Wheel:
- Do not play unless you can abide by the decision of the Wheel.
- Players in each game are entering into a Pact with the Other Players.
- Before spinning, Player may choose to replace one Decree with their own
- Each Player must spin exactly once.
- Wheel must spin freely around one whole turn.
- Player must follow the Decree or be subject to Other Players own Chaos.
- Interpretation of a Decree is by consensus of all players, and no interpretation may be non-chaotic.
The Wheel of Chaos doesn’t fuck around. There are no, “Kiss the person to your left” decrees. This is not Truth or Dare. The idea is to introduce a level of chaos to your life from which there is no return. After spinning the wheel, your life will be inexorably changed in some way.
Here are some of the Wheel of Chaos decrees (or dooms, as we also called them):
- Vow of Silence – A two week vow of complete silence
- Bone Break – Break any human bone on a live person
- Desert issolation – a week without seeing another person, you leave tomorrow
- Abduction pact – sometime in the next month, you will be suddenly abducted
- Burn Bridges – You have 10 minutes to confront someone in your life and cut off all ties forever
- Judy Tat – Publicly-visible tattoo – a man or woman’s name
- Chaos Canoe – Strapped in a canoe down a major river
UPDATE: Still thinking about this, how it would look, what size, how it would be built.
I originally imagined the Wheel of Chaos not much bigger than a breadbox. But what if the Wheel of Chaos were BIG?
Or at least medium sized?
And then how could this thing be configured? We need a window to see your the Wheel of Chaos Dictate, and a place to attach the Rules of Engagement. And the whole thing has to look like something you would take seriously as it rearranged your entire future.
I’m happy to report that my life feels less in need of the Wheel of Chaos. However, I’d still very much like to create the Wheel to help others who are at their most stuck.